Tasteless

Well, it seems that my sense of taste is now gone. The food I eat has no flavor to me right now... This sucks.

My First Chemo

I started this post yesterday, but realized a nap was more appealing than posting on my blog...

Had my first chemo today. Went pretty well. Feeling like a nap is in order. My mom came with me.

Chemo Selfie! 

My mom read a book while I watched Madagascar 2

I spent the rest of the day at home laying in on my couch, watching tv, and napping. Nausea kicked in in the early evening. I took one of the anti-nausea pills and it helped some. 

Today I feel a little worn down, but functional. 

Tomorrow is the day

I start chemo tomorrow. Kinda nervous about it. Mostly nervous of the unknown, like most of the time when I do something new. Not knowing how I will feel or what side effect I will experience. They will also be putting me into menopause while I am on chemo... a "chemical menopause" in hopes to preserve my ability to have a baby in a few years if I chose to. I can't wait to have menopause symptoms like hot flashes... NOT!

I've been thinking about how all this will affect my singing voice. Will my range drop lower? Will I lose my high notes? It's seems silly to think about especially since I am not a trained singer, it's just something I love to do. I think about it when I hear Glitter and Be Gay during Candide since I currently have the notes to sing that song and I wonder if I will after all this is done or if I will become a mezzo or an alto. Not that I will complain about being a mezzo or an alto... those roles are fun, but I'm just so use to singing soprano.

Anyways, enough of the nervous ramblings about my voice.

Well hello mediport

Today I got a port http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_(medical)

The anesthesiologist and my surgeon told me I would be loopy but not asleep, well I totally fell asleep. They wheeled me into the operating room, moved me on to the operating table, started to prep me for the operation, and next thing I know they are done and wheeling me into recovery. I am spending the night at my mom's since they want someone to be with me for the 24 hours after the surgery.

Now I have some beautiful bruising and superglued skin to show for it.  My shoulder hurts a bit but it's also reminding me not to lift my arm so I actually don't want to fully get rid of the pain right now. 

Things are feeling real now with getting the mediport and having my chemo orientation... excuse me while I have a moment. 

Glad today is over

Instead of going to Disneyland today I spent the entire day at PAMF's Mountain View Campus.

9:10am Ultrasound of the underarm to look at the lymph nodes.
10:30am Mediport discussion with my surgeon
11:45am Echo Cardiogram
12:20pm Lunch Break... thank goodness they have a Cafe on Campus. I also went into my car a took a mini nap
2:45pm Biopsy of the Lymph nodes
4:00pm MRI of the Breast and Lymph nodes

I had never had an MRI before and was not sure how I would react to the tight enclosure. The good thing about the Breast MRI is that you are laying on your stomach and you can't see anything. I was laying on my stomach on this platform that had two holes in it for your breast to hang through. It was a little tough laying down without moving for about 45 minutes... my limbs went a little numb. I also did a round laying on my back face up but it was only 5 minutes and I kept my eyes closed so I would not get claustrophobic.

Feeling pretty wiped out right now and will probably just veg on the couch for the rest of the evening.

More appointments tomorrow.

Soooooo many appointments!

This morning I had one appointment set up for tomorrow - an echocardiogram. I now have 4 appointments tomorrow - ultrasound of the underarm (to check my lymph nods), discussion with my surgeon about getting a port, echocardiogram, and a MRI. If you need my I will be at the PAMF Mountain View campus all day tomorrow.

The sooner all this stuff gets done, the sooner we can start treatments.

Things are moving quickly...

Things are moving quickly to get me started on treatments. I have been to more doctors appointments in the last 2 days then I usually go to in a year. I have made sure my blood family knows before I make it too public... those are not fun phone calls. I had to cancel my trip to Disneyland next week, but Disneyland will be there when I am cancer free. Next week I have three appointments (echocardiogram, chemo orientation, and MRI) and it looks like the following week I will be starting chemo.

My lease is up on my apartment at the end of December... I was already planning on moving anyways but it looks like instead of moving into a new apartment I will be moving in with my mom and sister in Fremont. Not sure how long I will be staying...

The C Word

Got my biopsy results yesterday afternoon... I have cancer... invasive ductal carcinoma to be exact. I have an appointment with a surgeon this afternoon and will know more after that.

Waiting Results

Found a lump in my left breast so I visited my doctor. She sent me to have a mammogram and ultrasound. It was my first mammogram; not scary or painful (there is no reason to be afraid of a mammogram). Two days later (Friday, November 7th) I had an ultrasound guided biopsy. Now I wait for the results.  The same day I had my biopsy my grandmother passed away... her health had been fading for the past year so it was no unexpected but it still sucks. I also opened a show that day so it's been a mixed bag of feelings lately. I feel like my life is on hold until I get the results.