Reminders

I am sitting here crying after reading a Facebook post from my good friend Dana about her friend and sorority sister passing away from breast cancer this week at the age of 31. Hearing of other young breast cancer patient not making it hits me hard every time. It reminds me that I am.... I kinda don't want to say lucky but I can't think of another word right now to call it so... lucky. It wakes me up and reminds me that even though my life does not always go the way I want it I AM ALIVE and I should be grateful for that and not dwell on things that are not the way I want them to be currently. Yes, my weight is higher than I want it to be, but I AM ALIVE. Yes, I don't have as much money in my savings as I would like, but I AM ALIVE. Yes, I'm not where I wanted to be in my life in terms of in a relationship or having children, but I AM ALIVE. Don't get me wrong, there are things I like about my life too! I love my family and they are very supportive! I have a great set of friends who are amazing! My Dombey cat is pretty awesome!

Ok, time to have dinner and do some school work because I AM ALIVE so I am going to finally finish my Bachelors Degree!

New Year, New Post

A new year always brings new goals.

Things I am looking forward to in 2017:

• Going to Seattle for Filmapalooza in March.
• Going to Ashland twice (April & September) to see all the shows at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.
• Training and walking the AVON39 Walk To End Breast Cancer with my Auntie Betty.

Things I want to achieve in 2017:

• Get cast in more shows... this requires auditioning for more shows. I have two auditions already set up for January so I am off to a good start.
• Lose weight and trim my waistline - I lost 20+ pounds training for the AVON39 walk in 2016 so hopefully I will lose more this year. 2017 is the year of the abs... I want less handle in my love handles.
• Cleaner eating.
• Be more social.
• ... and most importantly remain cancer free!

My health is well, I see my oncologist every 3 months and my surgeon every 6 months. I had my yearly mammogram in December and it came back normal (YAY!). I continue to do self checks and take my tamoxifen. 

I've started my year working on some of these goals. Yesterday I went to Dave & Dana's place for game night (being social!). Today I got up and weighed myself to get an accurate starting point (ugh! I kinda let myself go during the holidays) and then I did a five mile walk this morning. I spent the rest of the day doing food prep for the week so I will have healthy food on hand for lunch and dinner. I also went through all my clothes and I now have three bags of clothes to bring to donation that I just don't wear for a variety of reasons. My dresser drawers now have breathing room in them. I have also been doing this 28 Day Plank Challenge to work on my abs... I have like zero ab strength so it's getting to be REALLY challenging to get through them, but I am doing my best and pushing through and I have to pause the time and take a quick break and get back up then that is what I do and eventually I will be strong enough to do it all the way through.

Two years ago...

I have not blogged in forever, but really needed to post today. 

Two years ago today I got the call from my doctor that I had breast cancer. I also started this blog on that day. Today I am health and life is back to normal. I do take Tamoxifen everyday but that has become normal for me like taking my daily vitamins. 

I have started the process of testing to find out how the cancer treatment affected my fertility. This whole getting cancer thing put a big damper on my 5 year plan I made a few years ago - I believe I was 34 when I made it... it was right after my divorce was final. One thing in the 5 year plan was to have a kid. My oncologist wants me to wait until I have been taking Tamoxifen for two years before getting off of it to get pregnant, but I don't want to wait that long to find out if it's even possible for me to do so. I still have about 8 more months until it's been two years since I started on the Tamoxifen, but I wanted to be informed so I can make other decisions about my treatment like switching off Tamoxifen to a stronger drug that will put me in menopause. That is a big decision and I want to be as informed about my body as possible before making it. There are also other factors like my age... I'll be 39 in two months... and we all know the older you get, the hard it is to conceive. I also don't have a man right now so that is a factor in the whole thing as well... who knows what this situation will be when it's actually time to make things happen so deciding whether I am going to "the bank" or not will happen later.

This has been an emotional week with Trump winning the Presidency. He brings out so much hate in people and I am really afraid for anyone that is not a healthy, wealthy, straight, white male. He talks of getting rid of Obamacare which has allowed so many people with pre-existing conditions to finally get medical coverage on their own. I am glad I have insurance through my job but no job is guaranteed to be around forever, no company is guaranteed to be around forever and if I find myself with out a job that offers insurance I have a pre-existing condition (thanks cancer) and I need insurance. The ONLY glimmer of hope is that I saw a news report with Trump saying he will keep the part of Obamacare that guarantees coverage for people with pre-existing conditions. Whether he sticks to that, we shall see... he is two faced and keeps changing his stance on things.

Bye, Bye 20 pounds!

I hopped on the scale this morning... I have officially lost 20 pounds!!! Woot! Woot!

Yesterday was the last big walk (18 miles) before the AVON39 in two weeks, for the next two weeks the training has me walking no more than 5 miles a day. The last few miles were rough yesterday but I got them done.

I want to continue losing weight after the AVON39 so the plan is to keep doing the 3 mile walks I have been doing at my lunch hour and do 6 mile walks on the weekends and continue with the eating plan of no bread/pasta and no dairy - allowing a splurge day every 6 weeks - and incorporating more workouts besides walking.

Not one more!

It's been an emotional week for me.

The shooting in Florida really hit me. I don't know why this one impacted me more emotionally than all the others that have happened but it drove me to write letters to each of my representatives in congress. Things are getting out of control. When will the mass shootings stop?!?!?!? Is no place safe anymore?!?! Something needs to be done now, we can not wait one more day.

On top of the shooting, Jeff found out last week that his mom's cancer has spread to her brain. The doctors told her she only has about 6 months left. I cry just thinking about what he is going through.

Father's Day is on Sunday and that is also not a great time for me. This will be the third Father's Day with out my dad. My brother, sister, and I will be going bowling like we have done the past two Father's Day and then we will have dinner at my mom's house.

IN HAPPIER NEWS...
I have lost 15 pounds! The training for the AVON39 and the changes in my diet are working... slowly ... but working. The walk is in 5 weeks!!! That also means I perform in El Capitan in 6 weeks!

Hey look... I was in a film!

Finally getting around to posting about the short film I helped out with. In April I got the opportunity to help out with a film for the 48 Hour Film Project.  My friend Dana was in a film for it last year and it sounded like fun. A costumer friend posted about her team was looking for people to help out/perform in their film so I contacted her about joining her team. She passed my information on to her team lead. I had not heard from them and it was getting close to the day of filming and I was chatting with Dana about it so she contacted her team lead and they contacted me about joining the team. I had signed on to be the hair and makeup assistant - my job would be to make sure hair was consistent in the shots and make sure people's faces were not too shiny. The whole excitement behind the 48 hour film project is that the team lead picks up which genre, writes, shoots, edits, and submits the film in a 48 hour time frame. So we are all basically "on call" until they have the script written. I get a text at around 10:15pm on Friday night telling me where the shoot will be and what time to show up. I got another at like almost 2am in the morning asking if I can bring party clothes because they want to put me in the film. SURPRISE! Luckily, we were not going to start shooting until the late after noon (the director had a call back he needed to be at earlier in the day) because I needed to do laundry in order to have anything nice to wear.

We shot the film at the director's (Christian & Evelyn) house. I knew no one on my team except for Dana... though I figured out later that one of the other actors and I went to high school together. I was glad to have a friend on the team since I am kinda socially awkward around new people. Everyone on the team was nice and pretty chill.

I would have loved to take more photos, but I did not want to invade with my camera so this is all I got.

Our "costumes"... we all provided out own clothes

The party table. We had snacks! Plus the film took place at a birthday party so they are also props.

What I was looking at during the times I was filming.

Dana shooting the opening scene of the film

My fellow cast mates in waiting

More filming.

Dana ending up being the star of the film. Her photo is even used on the poster art. 

It was awesome watching her work. 

I had never worked on a film before and this was a great experience and I am proud to be part of the final product. We were nominated for 13 awards. The awards show is on May 22nd.... I hope we win it all! 

Here's a link to the film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHSCuz9J0LM

IN OTHER NEWS:

I've been working on losing weight... it's been a struggle. I am doing an eating plan I did about 14 years ago and lost about 70 pounds with. (The plan: meat, vegetables, and fruits. No bread/pasta products and no dairy. There are a few other rules but that's it basically.) Well, I am not in my 20's anymore, plus with the cancer treatment and tamoxifen I am pretty sure my metabolism thinks I am 58 instead of 38 so I am not losing as quickly as expected. I weighed myself today and I have lost 11 pounds in the last month and a half which is nice to see progress. My clothes do fit a tiny little bit more comfortably, but there is no visible changes yet that I have noticed. I am gonna stick with what I am doing a hope that the weight drops more.

Yesterday Dana and I got the meet Alan Tudyk! I got photos with him. I am not a fan of how big I look next to him but I am going to use this a motivation... and since I did not take an official "before" photo I may make these my "before". 

My Auntie Betty's friend, Sharon, joined our AVON39 team. We kicked off Sharon's training by walking 5 miles at a park in Danville on Sunday.

Welp! That is it for now... I think this post is long enough! I will try to more often!

I'm walkin'... yes in deed!

This week is the first week I have felt my ankle was strong enough to walk any sort of distance. I have been itching to start my training for the AVON39 and this week I finally could! I am back doing my lunch time walks and thanks to Daylight Savings Time there is plenty of sun after work for me to do more walking in the evening. According to my fitbit, Tuesday I did 11,170 steps (4.59 miles) and Wednesday I did 13,474 steps (5.53 miles). I've also adjusted my eating in hopes of losing some weight. I started that on March 28th and last week I lost 5 pounds! I do my weigh ins on Fridays so I'll find out tomorrow morning if I have lost anymore weight.

Time to head over to physical therapy!

Ankle and More

It's been a while since I've blogged and my friend Dana was complaining that I have not blogged in a while so here goes.

I got my cast off from my ankle surgery about 5 weeks ago and was in a walking boot for 4 weeks. I am now boot free and have started physical therapy this week. Right now my ankle does not feel any better than before the surgery, but hopefully with time and doing the physical therapy exercises it will be good as new. Patience was never one of my fortes so this has been a challenge for me especially since I am really antsy to work on my training for the AVON39 Walk.

Speaking of the AVON39 walk... Our team the Sparkling Violets have raised over $8,000! Betty and I are blown away at the generosity of our friends and family. We were both a little nervous when we signed up about raising the minimum required to walk... and we blew that out of the water!

It's been 11 months since I first saw signs of my hair growing back and it's now about 5 inches long in most places. It's hard to tell if the curl will stay or if eventually my hair will go back to being straight. I am enjoying the curl while I have it.

My work is offering a free membership to a fitness program called RivalHealth so I signed up yesterday and took my first fitness assessment... I scored an 18 out of 100. SO BAD!!!! Yeah, I have a LONG WAY to go! I am ready to be more fit and focus on this part of my health. I am hoping with this program I can lose some weight, build my strength and agility, and tone up some of my flab/rolls. I'll keep you all posted as (hopefully) my score goes up! I guess I should take the obligatory "before" photo.

Scooting Along

I don't think I blogged about injuring my ankle...
At the end of March last year I went walking with a friend and took a wrong step and severely sprained my ankle. I had my mom take me to the ER that night because I could no longer walk on it and wanted to make sure I did not break it. I was told it was a really bad sprain and not to walk on it for like two weeks. I was really mad about that since I knew in two weeks I would be having my breast cancer surgery. Well, it healed up enough for me to walk by the time I had my surgery. I saw an orthopedic surgeon about a month or so after the injury and he told me it could take up to 6 months to fully heal so I gave it time. In November, during Evita, it was still giving me issues so I went back to see the orthopedic surgeon and he ordered a MRI. The results were I had a tear in a tendon and a ligament... the only way to fix that is surgery.

I had my surgery last Friday, January 22nd. I am in a splint and can not walk on it until I have my follow up appointment on February 9th and get a walking boot. "Luckily", my mom had ankle surgery a few years back and bought a knee scooter and a wedge to elevate the foot so I am all set for this thing. I am so looking forward to February 9th!!!!

The pain has not been too terrible. The first few days were hurting, but now it just hurts when I move my leg and then the pain goes away once the leg is settled.



IN OTHER NEWS:
My Auntie Betty and I signed up to walk the AVON 39 The Walk To End Breast Cancer. We formed our own team... SPARKLING VIOLETS - because both of our favorite color is purple and we do love things that sparkle. My Auntie Betty is my dad's sister and a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer in 2003. She was a great resource while I was going though my treatment. For the next few months we will be raising funds and also training our bodies for the walk... 39 miles in two days. Please donate! www.avonwalk.org/goto/sparklingviolets

I am antsy to start my training but I also have to be patient and let my ankle heal!

THANK GAWD!!!

A week and a half ago I had my now yearly mammogram. A few days later I got a call that they needed to take more images of my right breast. This made me nervous, then ok, then nervous again. I had the second mammogram today and...

ALL IS GOOD! It was dense breast tissue.

ok... I can now proceed with the regularly scheduled program.

Bye, Bye Port

GREAT NEWS:
Last Wednesday I said goodbye to my mediport! It was done at my surgeon's office in a procedure room. She numbed the area with Novocain and once it was numb she cut my open and removed the port and the catheter that went into my vein. I was awake for the entire thing chatting with my surgeon during the whole thing. There was music playing during the entire process and it started out very spa like but at one point while she was cutting into me the music became more intense - like battle music from Lord of the Rings - so Dr Cassani had her nurse change it because it was a little too intense for the situation. She closed up the incision with dissolvable stitches on the inside and then sealed the skin with medical superglue that is PURPLE!

She also let me keep the mediport... you know, since it was in me for over a year and I did pay for it.

The incision seems to be healing nicely.

Now the not so great news: 

I had my yearly mammogram and I got a call that they need to take more images on the right side (not the side my cancer was on) so I will be going in on Wednesday afternoon for more boob squishing. Hopefully it is just because the tissue is dense and they need a better view, but I'm still scared. I think I will always be nervous when it comes to mammograms, but especially when they call and need more images. I will report back once I get the results.

Happy Cancer-versary???

I guess the only reason to "celebrate" a cancer-versary is because I no longer have cancer.

One year ago today I got the call from my doctor with the results of my biopsy. They asked if I wanted to come in or hear them over the phone. Well, we all know what that means so I asked that she give me the results over the phone. One phone call changed my life. I had just opened a show and was planning a trip to Disneyland for later that month. I continued to perform in the show, but I had to cancel my trip to Disneyland because they wanted to start chemo ASAP and I needed to get a bunch of tests and procedures done before they could start it. That night I had a brush-up rehearsal for Candide that I went to to help me not think too much about my results... I almost a few times at the rehearsal wanted to say "fuck this! I have cancer!" and walk out but I was not quite ready to tell my cast mates. I also learned that day that toast is one of my comfort foods. Since hearing my results all I wanted that day was toast.... toast for days.

I know I have not blogged in a while and so much has happened! Here are some updates...

I found a place to live for Dombey and I! I had been looking for a place to either buy or rent for months. As we all know, the housing market in Bay Area sucks so buying is not an option for me right now in any areas I would actually want to live and would not have a crappy commute to work. I found a small studio (450 square feet) apartment in Mountain View, super convenient to the freeway. Been trying to get it all organized but it's been hard with rehearsals... someday it will be done.

I FINALLY went to Disneyland! In October I went with my friends Jane, Lori, and Doreen. It was hot as hell but we had fun! I meant to blog about the trip but I have been busy. I got a Deluxe Annual Pass because my friends Dana and Dave are planning on going for a week in February and it will essentially pay for itself during that trip.

I have a boyfriend!!! ...and that is all I am saying about that for now.

I have an appointment to get my mediport removed. December 9th it is going away!

I want to take the time to thank my family for helping me out, especially my mom (Linda) for letting me move into her room and be her room mate for all those months. My Aunty Betty for sending me cards for every session of chemo counting them down. My brother (Michael) and sister (Julie) for helping me move both times. My mom, brother, sister, and sister-in-law (Josephine) for taking me to chemo. All my friends that helped me move. All my friends that did not stop being my friend just because I was sick (thank you for inviting me to things and hanging out with me). Thank you to those that sent me gifts. My work for being totally understanding of my time off and telling me to take what ever time I needed.

I am ready for my next adventure in life and for all the good things ahead!

This might be TMI for some people...

When I started chemo they put me on Zoladex to shut down my ovaries and stop my periods in hopes of preserving my fertility so I can actually have a baby some day. I have been off Zoladex since April. I was told it could take up to 6 months for me to have my periods again. Well, today is the day. Aunt Flow, the crimson tide.... it has returned just in time for me to go to Disneyland on Friday. HOPEFULLY it is all be over by then. Now that I can't take birth control pills to control my periods (my tumor was estrogen responsive so no birth control pills for me ever again), I hope that it is not too awful.

In other news:
I think my body is getting used to Tamoxifen now, I have not been having nearly as many hot flashes as I was when I first started taking it.

I mentioned in my previous post I was see a therapist/Clinical Social Worker. I saw her for a few sessions and I am feeling better now. We think just getting it all out and learning that what I am feeling is pretty normal helped.

I FINALLY found an apartment that allows cats and is in my budget! I moved in this weekend. It was really quick because I am going to Disneyland next weekend so it was either do it this past weekend or wait two weeks until I get back from Disneyland. I did not want to wait. It's a mess right now and I don't know where anything is. It definitely not going to be all organized before I leave, I have rehearsals in the evenings so it will take some time to squeeze in unpacking and organizing.

Hey strangers!

I have not posted in about a month so I figured it was time.

I have decided it's time to talking to someone to help me deal with all the emotions so I have starting seeing a therapist. It's offered as part of my cancer care program to meet with a Clinical Social Worker. I have had one session and will be going once a week for 4-12 weeks depending on how I am feeling. I have never really been good with emotions and expressing them so that is one of the issues we are going to focus on.

The housing search is very frustrating. I am finding apartments in my price range, but a lot of place do not allow pets and ones that do are getting snatched up before I can look at them because I can't just drop everything in the middle of my work day to go look at an apartment.

In the attempt to not gain anymore weight while taking Tamoxifen for the next 10 years which is known to cause weight gain, I have cut back on my bread/pasta intake. I am only allowing myself one or two meals a week with those kinds of carbs. I am also striving to get my 10,000+ steps a day on my FitBit. Every time is vibrates on my wrist when I reach my 10,000 steps is like a little celebration. This past week I did the American Heart Association's HeartWalk and raised $1,300! I walked in memory of my Grandma Medeiros (heart attack and two strokes), my Dad (heart attack), and my Uncle Barry (heart attack). It was a 3 mile walk so all my steps were fulfilled for the day in that one. I also did the Rock n' Roll 5k in San Jose yesterday. Yesterday my step count was 18,415.

Holy $h!t... I had cancer!

Now that I am all done with treatment, I look back on what has happened and I have moments of "Holy shit! I had cancer! People die from cancer! Cancer kills people!" Yes, I cry about it. Cry because I am grateful that everything went so smoothly for me and my treatment. Cry for those that were not as lucky, those who lost their lives too early.

The day after I got my tattoo I was shopping at The Avenue and the girl that was helping me noticed my tattoo and she asked if I had breast cancer and I told her I had gone through chemo, surgery, and radiation and I am now cancer free. She told me her cousin just died from breast cancer. Her cousin was 36 when she died. By the time she found the cancer it had spread and was so aggressive that no treatments where helping. After I made my purchases, I got in my car and cried. It hits me hard to hear about women my age dying from breast cancer. I don't take it lightly that I am still here.

I am so ready to find a place of my own. I want my own space again. I think once I find a place to live and I am all settled in I will look at taking real vacations and maybe doing a little traveling. I am always amazed when my single friends travel on their own. I am such a wimp to travel by myself but I think I might try it once. If I wait around for a travel buddy I may never go anywhere except Disneyland. Speaking of Disneyland... I do have a trip to Disneyland planned with some girl friends in October. I am so excited!

TATTUESDAY!!!! TATTOOSDAY!!!

So a few weeks ago my friends and I were talking about tattoos and one thing lead to another and we set a date to get tattoos. That day happened to be a Tuesday since they (Dave & Dana) are in rehearsal... thus coining the phrase "TATTUESDAY" (or "TATTOOSDAY" depending on how you feel like spelling it).

We made appointments at Marks of Art in San Jose with Rob. Rob was late and while we were waiting for him we thought maybe we would have to cancel Tattuesday but eventually he showed up. I have been thinking about getting a tattoo for a while now long before the cancer. I really wanted my first tattoo to be special. I chose a pink ribbon to cap off the end of my treatments.

I am now ready to move onto the next adventure.

I am hoping that next adventure is moving into my own place.

Finding a place to live has been rough. Housing prices in the Bay Area are ridiculous! I have been looking at either purchasing a condo or renting an apartment. There really has not been any condos in my price range in an area I really want to live in. There are some in Hayward and other parts of the East Bay but I would much rather purchase closer to the South Bay. Since nothing much was coming up on the purchase side I have been focusing on renting. Obsessively checking Craigslist. The major problem I am having now is that A LOT of places don't allow pets. :( I know something will come up that will be good for me, but it is very frustrating right now.

I pet sat at Jeremiah and Jamie's while they were out of town this weekend which meant I got to spend some time with my Dombey cat. It was really hard to say goodbye and leave him there. I know he's not that happy and spends most of his time hiding from the dogs. I really hope I find a place before the end of the month so we don't have to move Dombey twice in a short time since J&J bought a house and are moving. Prayers and thoughts and fingers crossed!

Oh hai, gym!

Today I had an appointment with my onocologist. Since the cancer is gone and I am now done with treatment, I will now be starting on Tamoxifen (http://www.drugs.com/tamoxifen.html) which I will be taking for the next 10 years because my tumor was estrogen responsive. I have to get a gynocological exam for a baseline because one of the side effects of Tamoxifen is increased risk of cancer of the uterus so they monitor it (<sarcasm>and I totally need more doctor appointments in my life</sarcasm>). We also discussed getting my medi-port removed and he wants me to get blood work one more time before giving the final ok on removing it. I go back and see him in a month. 

I joined a gym today! I have been thinking about it since I finished chemo and finally bit the bullet, walked in and joined. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and was totally drenched in sweat afterwards. I also get some sessions with a personal trainer which will be nice to kick-start this next step. My first goal will be to lose the weight I have gained since starting treatment (about 20 pounds). Once that is gone it will be time to lose the divorce weight (about 30 pounds). Then I will be back in One-derland I will feel so much better! 

Radiation... almost done

Today was supposed to be my last day of radiation, but because they gave me 2 days off last week and 3 days off this week for my skin to heal it was extended until next Friday. I will be so happy to not have to go everyday. I also will be happy when I can wear underwire bras again. Soooooooon.... very soooooon!

Ah, Honey, Honey!

My skin under my breast has been pretty raw from the burned skin peeling off so Dr Ray gave my these patches made from honey to help regenerate the skin more quickly (http://www.dermasciences.com/medihoney). They are definitely helping. I can tell the skin that has been covered by the patch and what hasn't been, but I feel like I should be avoiding bears for the next few days while I am wearing the patches. I made sure to move the patch location to cover some areas that have not been covered today. It does hurt for a little bit after I put the patch on but that dies down after a while. I occasionally can smell the honey. Hey, as long as it's helps my skin I am all good with it. They gave me yesterday off from treatment which means my end date was pushed back as well. Now the final treatment will be on July 14th. Today I am spending most of the day at home with out a bra on... letting my skin breath so it can heal. I don't really like walking around with boobs a flopping but anything to get my skin to heal is ok with me. Don't worry, I will not be taking or posting photos of my burnt skin... that's gross plus it's on my boob which I don't want posted on the interwebs for all to see.

I mentioned in my previous post that I am looking at buying a place to live (probably a condo since that is what is available in my price range). I've been able to save money while living with my mom and also throw more money at my debt. Yesterday I looked at my savings account and looked at how much I owe on an account that has been haunting me for years and that needs to be paid off before my lender will giving me funding and decided to take a chunk of my savings and pay off that account. It feels good to have that paid off knowing that it will no longer be an issue, but this does mean I need to building up my savings a little more.

Oh hai peeling!

I finished my 4th week of radiation, my skin is not happy. I have reached the peeling stage under my left arm pit and under my left breast. The doctor gave me calendula cream to put on all the burned areas as well as silver sulfadiazine cream on the open areas that are peeling. I can no longer wear an underwire bra because the wire hits in the sensitive skin areas. I have been wearing sports bras... hello uni-boob. I think I have like one or two more treatments where the radiation will hit the areas that are having issues and then they will changing where the radiation hits so it should be getting better.

My hair is growing in nicely. It is still up in the air about the texture because it looks like the back of my head the hair is coming in wavy/curly in parts. The top looks straight though. We shall see as it gets longer.

In other news...
I am currently looking for a place to buy. With my budget and living in the Bay Area it's slim picking but still possible. I did actually put an offer in on a condo in Hayward (great for my daily commute - 12.5 miles from work, but not so great for my social life - most of my friends are in the South Bay). I was out bid by one person and they asked if I would be the back up incase the other deal does not go through, I agreed. I am still looking. Hoping to find a place not too far from work or my social life.