Scooting Along

I don't think I blogged about injuring my ankle...
At the end of March last year I went walking with a friend and took a wrong step and severely sprained my ankle. I had my mom take me to the ER that night because I could no longer walk on it and wanted to make sure I did not break it. I was told it was a really bad sprain and not to walk on it for like two weeks. I was really mad about that since I knew in two weeks I would be having my breast cancer surgery. Well, it healed up enough for me to walk by the time I had my surgery. I saw an orthopedic surgeon about a month or so after the injury and he told me it could take up to 6 months to fully heal so I gave it time. In November, during Evita, it was still giving me issues so I went back to see the orthopedic surgeon and he ordered a MRI. The results were I had a tear in a tendon and a ligament... the only way to fix that is surgery.

I had my surgery last Friday, January 22nd. I am in a splint and can not walk on it until I have my follow up appointment on February 9th and get a walking boot. "Luckily", my mom had ankle surgery a few years back and bought a knee scooter and a wedge to elevate the foot so I am all set for this thing. I am so looking forward to February 9th!!!!

The pain has not been too terrible. The first few days were hurting, but now it just hurts when I move my leg and then the pain goes away once the leg is settled.



IN OTHER NEWS:
My Auntie Betty and I signed up to walk the AVON 39 The Walk To End Breast Cancer. We formed our own team... SPARKLING VIOLETS - because both of our favorite color is purple and we do love things that sparkle. My Auntie Betty is my dad's sister and a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer in 2003. She was a great resource while I was going though my treatment. For the next few months we will be raising funds and also training our bodies for the walk... 39 miles in two days. Please donate! www.avonwalk.org/goto/sparklingviolets

I am antsy to start my training but I also have to be patient and let my ankle heal!

THANK GAWD!!!

A week and a half ago I had my now yearly mammogram. A few days later I got a call that they needed to take more images of my right breast. This made me nervous, then ok, then nervous again. I had the second mammogram today and...

ALL IS GOOD! It was dense breast tissue.

ok... I can now proceed with the regularly scheduled program.

Bye, Bye Port

GREAT NEWS:
Last Wednesday I said goodbye to my mediport! It was done at my surgeon's office in a procedure room. She numbed the area with Novocain and once it was numb she cut my open and removed the port and the catheter that went into my vein. I was awake for the entire thing chatting with my surgeon during the whole thing. There was music playing during the entire process and it started out very spa like but at one point while she was cutting into me the music became more intense - like battle music from Lord of the Rings - so Dr Cassani had her nurse change it because it was a little too intense for the situation. She closed up the incision with dissolvable stitches on the inside and then sealed the skin with medical superglue that is PURPLE!

She also let me keep the mediport... you know, since it was in me for over a year and I did pay for it.

The incision seems to be healing nicely.

Now the not so great news: 

I had my yearly mammogram and I got a call that they need to take more images on the right side (not the side my cancer was on) so I will be going in on Wednesday afternoon for more boob squishing. Hopefully it is just because the tissue is dense and they need a better view, but I'm still scared. I think I will always be nervous when it comes to mammograms, but especially when they call and need more images. I will report back once I get the results.

Happy Cancer-versary???

I guess the only reason to "celebrate" a cancer-versary is because I no longer have cancer.

One year ago today I got the call from my doctor with the results of my biopsy. They asked if I wanted to come in or hear them over the phone. Well, we all know what that means so I asked that she give me the results over the phone. One phone call changed my life. I had just opened a show and was planning a trip to Disneyland for later that month. I continued to perform in the show, but I had to cancel my trip to Disneyland because they wanted to start chemo ASAP and I needed to get a bunch of tests and procedures done before they could start it. That night I had a brush-up rehearsal for Candide that I went to to help me not think too much about my results... I almost a few times at the rehearsal wanted to say "fuck this! I have cancer!" and walk out but I was not quite ready to tell my cast mates. I also learned that day that toast is one of my comfort foods. Since hearing my results all I wanted that day was toast.... toast for days.

I know I have not blogged in a while and so much has happened! Here are some updates...

I found a place to live for Dombey and I! I had been looking for a place to either buy or rent for months. As we all know, the housing market in Bay Area sucks so buying is not an option for me right now in any areas I would actually want to live and would not have a crappy commute to work. I found a small studio (450 square feet) apartment in Mountain View, super convenient to the freeway. Been trying to get it all organized but it's been hard with rehearsals... someday it will be done.

I FINALLY went to Disneyland! In October I went with my friends Jane, Lori, and Doreen. It was hot as hell but we had fun! I meant to blog about the trip but I have been busy. I got a Deluxe Annual Pass because my friends Dana and Dave are planning on going for a week in February and it will essentially pay for itself during that trip.

I have a boyfriend!!! ...and that is all I am saying about that for now.

I have an appointment to get my mediport removed. December 9th it is going away!

I want to take the time to thank my family for helping me out, especially my mom (Linda) for letting me move into her room and be her room mate for all those months. My Aunty Betty for sending me cards for every session of chemo counting them down. My brother (Michael) and sister (Julie) for helping me move both times. My mom, brother, sister, and sister-in-law (Josephine) for taking me to chemo. All my friends that helped me move. All my friends that did not stop being my friend just because I was sick (thank you for inviting me to things and hanging out with me). Thank you to those that sent me gifts. My work for being totally understanding of my time off and telling me to take what ever time I needed.

I am ready for my next adventure in life and for all the good things ahead!

This might be TMI for some people...

When I started chemo they put me on Zoladex to shut down my ovaries and stop my periods in hopes of preserving my fertility so I can actually have a baby some day. I have been off Zoladex since April. I was told it could take up to 6 months for me to have my periods again. Well, today is the day. Aunt Flow, the crimson tide.... it has returned just in time for me to go to Disneyland on Friday. HOPEFULLY it is all be over by then. Now that I can't take birth control pills to control my periods (my tumor was estrogen responsive so no birth control pills for me ever again), I hope that it is not too awful.

In other news:
I think my body is getting used to Tamoxifen now, I have not been having nearly as many hot flashes as I was when I first started taking it.

I mentioned in my previous post I was see a therapist/Clinical Social Worker. I saw her for a few sessions and I am feeling better now. We think just getting it all out and learning that what I am feeling is pretty normal helped.

I FINALLY found an apartment that allows cats and is in my budget! I moved in this weekend. It was really quick because I am going to Disneyland next weekend so it was either do it this past weekend or wait two weeks until I get back from Disneyland. I did not want to wait. It's a mess right now and I don't know where anything is. It definitely not going to be all organized before I leave, I have rehearsals in the evenings so it will take some time to squeeze in unpacking and organizing.

Hey strangers!

I have not posted in about a month so I figured it was time.

I have decided it's time to talking to someone to help me deal with all the emotions so I have starting seeing a therapist. It's offered as part of my cancer care program to meet with a Clinical Social Worker. I have had one session and will be going once a week for 4-12 weeks depending on how I am feeling. I have never really been good with emotions and expressing them so that is one of the issues we are going to focus on.

The housing search is very frustrating. I am finding apartments in my price range, but a lot of place do not allow pets and ones that do are getting snatched up before I can look at them because I can't just drop everything in the middle of my work day to go look at an apartment.

In the attempt to not gain anymore weight while taking Tamoxifen for the next 10 years which is known to cause weight gain, I have cut back on my bread/pasta intake. I am only allowing myself one or two meals a week with those kinds of carbs. I am also striving to get my 10,000+ steps a day on my FitBit. Every time is vibrates on my wrist when I reach my 10,000 steps is like a little celebration. This past week I did the American Heart Association's HeartWalk and raised $1,300! I walked in memory of my Grandma Medeiros (heart attack and two strokes), my Dad (heart attack), and my Uncle Barry (heart attack). It was a 3 mile walk so all my steps were fulfilled for the day in that one. I also did the Rock n' Roll 5k in San Jose yesterday. Yesterday my step count was 18,415.

Holy $h!t... I had cancer!

Now that I am all done with treatment, I look back on what has happened and I have moments of "Holy shit! I had cancer! People die from cancer! Cancer kills people!" Yes, I cry about it. Cry because I am grateful that everything went so smoothly for me and my treatment. Cry for those that were not as lucky, those who lost their lives too early.

The day after I got my tattoo I was shopping at The Avenue and the girl that was helping me noticed my tattoo and she asked if I had breast cancer and I told her I had gone through chemo, surgery, and radiation and I am now cancer free. She told me her cousin just died from breast cancer. Her cousin was 36 when she died. By the time she found the cancer it had spread and was so aggressive that no treatments where helping. After I made my purchases, I got in my car and cried. It hits me hard to hear about women my age dying from breast cancer. I don't take it lightly that I am still here.

I am so ready to find a place of my own. I want my own space again. I think once I find a place to live and I am all settled in I will look at taking real vacations and maybe doing a little traveling. I am always amazed when my single friends travel on their own. I am such a wimp to travel by myself but I think I might try it once. If I wait around for a travel buddy I may never go anywhere except Disneyland. Speaking of Disneyland... I do have a trip to Disneyland planned with some girl friends in October. I am so excited!